"The Psychological Effects of Rebound Relationships: Exploring the Impact on Mental Health"

A rebound relationship happens when a person who has ended a romantic relationship lands in another without healing from his past relationship. We would have come across many quotes stressing that we need another companion to get over our past. This blog article discusses the impact of rebound relationships on mental health.

Every broken relationship has a lot of unresolved pain, anger, frustration, trauma, and never-ending thoughts about the person. Without time for them to settle down or heal, it will be a disaster for both if the person lands in another relationship. If those blossom into marriage, they enter the world of compromises or divorce.

I have seen many of my friends landing in rebound relationships out of anger they have towards their past girl/boyfriends or yearning for the affection/touch/intimacy they received. Let me explain the situation with a hypothetical example.

Ram and Kalpana are collegegoers and have been in a romantic relationship for over three years. Due to misunderstandings/indifferences and various reasons, they are forced to end their relationship.

Though a rebound relationship can happen either for Ram or Kalpana, let us see how it happens from Ram's point of view.

Ram feels very depressed that whatever girl he comes across or any movie he watches reminds him of Kalpana. He isolates himself inside his house, avoiding contact with friends or family. With the advent of technology, he constantly checks Kalpanas’s social media profiles, looks at her display picture, daily updates, etc. Days and months pass by.

After around three months, fearing for his mental health, his friends decide to take him out for a trekking trip. With reluctance, he agrees to go for the same. Sandhya, one of his friends, had feelings for him. But she didn’t advance as he was in a relationship. But since his breakup, she wanted to advance with him.

During his trekking trip, he begins to speak with Sandhya. He begins to see his ex-girlfriend in her. He used to talk about her a lot to Sandhya. Knowing much about his girlfriend, Sandhya tries to be like her to win his heart. Ram begins to see Kalpana in Sandhya. He begins to act like he is with Kalpana. He starts calling her the same pet names he used to call her ex-girlfriend. But if observed closely, Sandhya is not herself when she is with Ram. Ram is not in love with Sandhya but with Sandhya, who acts like Kalpana.

This is how rebound relationships begin. If not fully healed, the person starts to see or expect his girlfriend/boyfriend to be like the person in their past relationship.

Or what happens is, yearning for physical or emotional support, they approach many men/women, leading to acceptance of their character irrespective of their compatibility issues. They tend to hide their true nature and say ok and accept whatever they say. But as the relationship advances, the compatibility issues begin to pop up.

If not handled properly, they get married and have children. After that, they tend to live a life full of compromises and unsatisfied marital life. They tend to argue often, compare their spouse with their past relationship, they tend to fight often, land in substance abuse, and it will take a toll on both of their mental health. It will also affect their children, who will witness their parent’s arguments and fights most of the time. The children will tend to experience a traumatic childhood.

Signs of a toxic Rebound Relationship:

1.     They do not accept you for who you are; they force you to become the person they want you to be. For example, wear this dress, come to this place, do workouts like this, etc. They will begin to sugarcoat their demands with a small layer of love, which the boy/girl will fall for. As time passes, they will begin to think that this is his/her natural character and tend to accept it. The other way around, if they think to fight back, they will begin to lose him/her.

2.     They will use whatever chance to get into romantic physical relationships with you. They will begin to force you, tend to treat this as normalcy, often disregard your opinion, and make you feel like a victim.

3.     They speak about how their boy/girl in the past relationship has wronged them and how much they suffered, making the opposite person empathize with them.

4.     They won’t open up the vulnerable or the emotional part of them. They won’t introduce him/her to their inner circle of family/friends.

5.     They tend to move the relationship very fast. They propose one day, and the next day, they expect to have some sort of physical intimacy.

If you see your friend or family member losing in a relationship, don’t force him/her to land in a relationship immediately or get them married. Give them some time to get over things, accept things, and forgive certain things. If a relationship fails, don’t blame the opposite person or support your friends/family without knowing anything about them.

At an individual level, try to make them understand as things like this happen in everybody’s life. For whoever is on the other side, the mistake may make them understand and forgive. Forgiveness is the first step in self-healing. Forgiveness is for you to heal. Not for you to get back to them.

Sabotaging ourselves for a failed relationship will not help us in our lives. The opposite person may not feel the same way you feel. This tends to trigger them the most. I am suffering like this, but he/she is happy with their lives.

Everyone has different thresholds to face different things in their lives. Be it happiness, sorrow, grief, trauma, or guilt. A person may get over a broken relationship in a week, while an opposite person may take months or years. You can’t force your timeline on them.

You are bound for happiness. Every one of us is bound for happiness in our lives. Forgive often. Show kindness to everyone. Don’t try to sabotage you or anyone around you.

The universe is silently watching. It will surely send someone your way when you least expect and turn your life beautiful.

Stay Happy Always.